Cold Email From Hell

This week I received a cold email solicitation that I thought was terrible. Not only did I delete it I immediately unsubscribe myself from their list (that I never agreed to be on in the first place). I am going to conceal the name of this company although you should know its a big US based telecoms that bought a web based meeting software sometime ago…..Be warned, I am going to be harsh is my editorial. You are welcome to provide your comments as well.

Subject line: (company name) Meeting Request–Please Reply
Meeting request” is presumptive. Asking me to reply in the subject line assumes I am lemming (or the Borg) and will just do what ever he asks. It’s insulting and immediately puts the receiver on edge… Even before they open the email!

Hello Colleen
OK he got my name right that is a plus!

I am the (Company Name) Solutions Specialist responsible for supporting your area.
Who cares and what’s in this for me? I am not interested in “Solutions Specialists” I am interested in experts who can help me be more profitable. Give me an example of who is using your software to make more money or grow, and I might be interested. You need an example or proof. I encourage you to never use vague terms like “Solutions Specialists” or “Integrated Solutions” in your emails

I would like to share some creative ideas about how you can reduce expenses and increase productivity throughout your organization.
I don’t understand how my current business objectives are any of his business nor how he can help me with them. This request is incredibly selfish on the part of the sales rep. Why would I agree to an appointment. Besides, when was the last time you had a conversation about your business objectives that was “brief”. You can’t ask for an appointment without first showing the prospect that there will be something valuable for them to gain from meeting with you. Remove the “I” from your pitch

Are you available this week for a brief discussion of your current business objectives?
I don’t care what he wants to share. I only care about what I want. So far, he has not shown he understand me or anyone like me. This email does not deliver any value or examples of his expertise

Please reply with the best time to reach you.
No thanks. If he really cares about winning my business he will follow up. I won’t hold my breath. I don’t expect a phone call. This email is the classic example of a lazy sales person doomed to be in the bottom 50%.

I hope you take these ideas to heart and spend some time revising your email solicitations today.

Cheers Colleen

6 responses to “Cold Email From Hell

  1. Colleen … spot on! The economic crisis has resulted in sheer desperation and thus a deluge of this kind of garbage. Getting ANYONE’s attention these days is tough … by email even tougher … and if you don’t know them, almost impossible. So any solicitation by email needs to be VERY special to get anywhere.

    I am deleting these kind of emails almost daily … and the voicemail equivalents that I am getting at least weekly.

    Enjoy the sun … we’ll have some in Ottawa some day, forecast is rain and wet snow for tomorrow!!!!


  2. Colleen,

    You write:

    “Hello Colleen
    OK he got my name right that is a plus!”

    It’s not a plus. On the contrary, it’s presumptuous. How does this buffoon know what you want to be called?


  3. Why email marketing isn’t working so well as the vendors of email marketing systems claim.
    Nowadays people prefer to search for solutions on the Internet – not being puhed by emails.

  4. Colleen,
    There is nothing worse than a cold e-mail from a database that you have no idea how you got onto their list. It’s amazing how this “solution specialist” is making you do almost all of the work by not telling you anything other than the fact that he/she is responsible for your area and that he/she “has creative ideas” to help reduce costs. What a pathetic call to action!

    Thanks for sharing the e-mail. In addition to cold e-mails, I’m sure you get cold calls like this all the time. I’d love to hear about some of your experiences on the phone.

  5. […] how to get the OS onto it as the system came without … Mail (will not be published) (required) …Cold Email From Hell | Sell More, Work Less and Make More …Steve Dodd Says: April 15th, 2009 at 2:29 pm. Colleen, great suggestions. As a matter of interest, […]

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