Another Cold Email Dissected

Today I received another cold solicitation email. Have you too noticed an increase in the number of unsolicited emails in your in basket? I think companies are getting desperate. Sending more emails to more prospects then ever before because they think it’s a cheap way to prospect. Sadly, most if the emails I receive are complete crap. A huge waste of cyberspace. The one a received today was not bad – the best in a while – but there were a couple small changes that could be made to make this a really great cold solicitation.

Please keep in mind I think cold email solicitation is a complete waste of time. I do recognize that some corporate reps don’t have a choice  to particiapte so in thoase cases…you may as well make the emails as good as possible. This post os for your benefit!

 I have dissected it below for you. My comments are in blue.

 “X” is working with more than 1000 companies – including Xerox, Kaiser Permanente, VeriSign, and Goodyear – to help them deliver more effective and consistent communications and training to their internal and external audiences and dramatically reduce costs.

 Not a bad opener because they at least tried to show their expertise. The trouble is that I am a 3 person company and the examples they used are all MASSIVE companies on the Fortune 500 list. Immediately I think, WOW – this service would be too big for me, too expensive for my budgets. So the rep’s mistake with this email is either (1) she did not target her marketing to the right buyer/prospects or (2) she mistakenly thinks I will be impressed with these references. In reality, these references scare me off. Remember that buyers want to do business with companies who understand their businesses. When the references are not relevant to the buyer they will assume you do not understand them and are therefore, not for them. This email says to me that this company and rep do not understand my small business, only big business.

 The following is a brief example X presentation that speaks to our value: View the X message for Engage Selling

 I like the fact that they customized this link, BUT whose “value” are they talking about? They don’t know what I value so how can they say this speaks to “value”? The only value that counts is the value in the client cares about. Providing an example should be step 2 of the sales process. Completed after a full qualification is completed. Then the examples can be fully customized based on the client need and what they value. 

 Thank you for taking the time to review this. Please let me know if you are interested in learning more about the solutions we have created for our customers, and I’d be happy to forward a testimonial.

Kudos for knowing that testimonials are important. But their mistake is that testimonials should be included in this email. It’s the testimonials that will get me interested in receiving more information. How can I be interested now? I don’t know how they can help me and the only examples they gave are unrelated to my business.

Dedicated to increasing your sales,